


Toss, Turn, Repeat

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Getting Together, Heartbeats, Insomnia, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Platonic Cuddling, Sharing a Bed, Sleep, Sleeping Together, Sleepovers, sbheartbeat, sterekbingo, sterekbingo2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 19:39:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14654775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: It started out as a one-night thing, Stiles couldn’t sleep so he decided to visit Derek instead, however, it soon turned into something that happened practically every night, they knew things would eventually change, for better or worse, the only question was if they could survive the shift





	Toss, Turn, Repeat

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually pretty happy with how this turned out, even though I wish I had added a little more of the actual heartbeat theme

He had gotten used to not sleeping

After the nogitsune, after Theo, after the Wild Hunt, not sleeping had been like a main function to him

It had become as normal as eating (or not eating) and as vital as breathing and he had stopped being surprised at exactly how much he could accomplish without sleep quite a long time ago

It didn't make it any easier though

It didn't make him happy

And he reached a certain point where it stopped making sense

Not sleeping wasn't exactly a life style choice, after all, it wasn't like he had decided to go on an all-kale diet or spend less time on the internet

And even though he was... _fine_ , in a certain way, he could _function_ without sleep, he couldn't really _live_ like that and that was the problem, that was the frustration

He couldn't feel happy anymore- not .. really, not the kind of deep, lip-tugging, full body happy that he had felt before, that had been waning ever since his mother died but had still shown up here and there.. until recently

He was starting to find it even harder to actually eat anything anymore, and when he did feel compelled it was even less healthy than usual- atleast the burgers and curly fries had been filling, lately he mostly stuck to things like energy bars

He had even started losing the ability to finish a freaking sentence, it seemed like more and more each day he was losing his trains of thought and his ability to think clearly and although he had been living on adrenaline for the last couple of years and that had been enough fuel for him... things were different now

Because that was just it, that was the problem

There was no adrenaline anymore

It had been over six months since the Anuk-Ite thing and the last time it had gone for so long without any problems, Theo had happened

Stiles had tried to stay vigilant, to stay on his toes, but.... then month seven went by and nothing happened

And then month eight

And nine months after the Anuk-Ite it was almost impossible to stay on his toes because nothing was _happening_ , nothing was stimulating him, nothing was keeping him focused, keeping that all important adrenaline up

And it was starting to show

Until about eight months ago, Stiles had more to blame for his insomnia than his rampant emotional and psychological issues

There was _stuff_ happening _all the time_

If not supernatural threats then people going to college or leaving home or finding Derek or the jeep breaking down again or what the hell ever and then it just kind of... started to taper off

Over the last eight months, things had started to settle, like rocks after an earthquake, shifting back into place

At first, sure, it had been a big upheaval

Everyone was moving away and going to college and Stiles was.. moving _back_ , with Derek in tow

He had never explicitly told anyone that the FBI thing had been a flat-out lie- a clever excuse to go look for Derek and help him track down Kate- and it had been an all too convenient circumstance when he could say that, because he was aiding and abedding a wanted criminal he couldn't exactly go back to the FBI- or any kind of law enforcement really

Everyone had believed him, no one asked questions, and it was one more thing to not have to worry about anymore

Then he had gone about getting his P.I. license wich was... shockingly less work than he anticipated, especially considering how much he already knew about the law and detective work

And then Derek had made his life easier by _miles_ when he had offered to be a partner in Stiles' P.I. business, even down to helping him get business cards and advertise and what not....

Overall things had just been slowly getting quieter and quieter, some things halted completely others having gone silent over time, and Stiles was now laying in bed at two in the morning bored out of his mind because he had nothing to worry about for once- nothing huge and immediate and life-threatening that is

His only cases at the moment were incredibly bland- a cheating spouse and a stolen laptop- so hardly things that would keep him up at night

His dad was in better health than ever

There were no supernatural shenanigans going on and there _hadn't_ been any that couldn't be handled in a number of hours since the Anuk-Ite

Everyone was gone, everyone was happy

Nobody needed him, nobody needed _anything_ and he didn't know how to deal with that anymore

Even as a kid he had been so centered on people needing him for something, even when they didn't, and now he was just..... alone

He was alone and frustrated and anxious and bored

And he was tired

And he couldn't sleep

And he was frustrated and needed.... he _needed_... and he didn't know how to get satisfaction and no one was awake and no one was _around_...

So without thinking, he sprang out of bed, grabbed his pillow and his car keys, didn't bother with _shoes_ much less changing out of his pajamas, and left the house with one destination in mind

 

~+~

 

Derek slept

It wasn't easy, it wasn't deep, it wasn't without restless or problems but...

He slept

It was an improvement over where his life had been a year ago, and a _vast_ improvement over where it had been two years ago- not to mention longer

It was good, things were _better_ , and he was still hesitant to say that he was going to be alright but he was.... kind of getting there

He was still vigilant, still slept so lightly that he could be awoken by a particularly loud bird chirp, but he slept through the night now, half of the time atleast, and that was pretty major progress

He was still ready to go at a moment's notice, he had an emergency bag packed, he had a notebook with emergency information in it and a fake I.D. and enough cash in his wallet to sustain himself for a week without needing to dig into his checking account and he still slept facing the door but ...

Atleast now he actually slept on purpose

For the first time in years, it took him by surprise to hear someone nocking on the door

It jolted him out of sleep, a slight panic running through him as he worked to regain his senses, his heart thundering and his eyes darting about, it took him a moment before he sensed the familiar heartbeat, the familiar scent, even the familiarity of the jeep's barely-legal-anymore fumes before he finally calmed down and slid out of bed to answer

This was not normal

Something was wrong and he was bracing himself for it

But he was still taken off guard when he opened the door and saw Stiles standing there, barefoot, holding a pillow, and staring at him with eyes so dark he could easily be mistaken for a raccoon

"I...."

And then Stiles paused, like he didn't know what to say, as if he hadn't expected to get this far, and Derek reasons- in retrospect, years later- that he hadn't

"Can I come in?"

Wordlessly, he stepped aside, Stiles walked into the house, and Derek shut the door

That was the first time it happened

 

~+~

 

Stiles had asked to watch TV on Derek's couch, Derek had obliged, and after an hour of not being able to sleep with that noise on- even though the volume was barely loud enough for Stiles to hear it, Derek was getting plenty of an earfull- he stepped out and found Stiles asleep on the couch

The next morning, neither had talked about it, and Derek made breakfast

 

~+~

 

The second time it happened it was just after midnight and Stiles had come over under the guise of needing help with a case

They had spent approximately ten minutes talking about a woman and her missing husband before Stiles passed out on the couch

He woke the next morning with a blanket covering him and his shoes off

Derek was in the shower, so Stiles showed himself out without speaking

 

~+~

 

The third time was significantly earlier than all the rest, he came over at 8:45 bearing gifts

"I know you don't have netflix soooo.... Walking Dead and chill?"

The gifts were pizza and ice cream

Derek still didn't know what the "netflix and chill" thing meant

He understood the reference, he watched American Horror Story- and boy was _that_ a long and bizarre origin story- but he still didn't exactly _get_ it

That was hardly a reason to turn down pizza, ice cream, and Stiles though

"Is there a reason you're watching it with me? I thought you watched it alone and then called Scott about it after?"

"Yeah, well, Scott has a papper due tommorrow and can't talk tonight, and besides, you're the only other person who's as appropriately _enraged_ about Negan as I am, and you won't mind if I destroy your TV,"

For a moment, Derek considered that pizza wasn't enough of a bribe to allow whatever the hell was about to occur

Then he saw it was the real, Italian pizza he liked from the little corner restaurant fifteen minutes away and decided he could take it

Incidentally, Stiles did not, in fact: destroy, kick, throw, punch, or in any way physically damage his TV

He did, however, scream at it and spend the next three hours ranting in paragraphs at how angry he was at the turn of events that played out _on_ the TV

Derek couldn't say he disagreed but he had enough pizza to keep him sedated about it

Stiles fell asleep on the couch again

He woke up four hours later to ask if he had just dreamed the entire episode and, when told that he hadn't, screamed an expletive and went back to sleep

 

~+~

 

The next time Stiles decided to get significantly more exploratory

At one in the morning, after Derek had been up for close to 24-hours- the kelpie in the lake had taken alot out of him- he couldn't bring himself to care

Stiles had just followed him home without even deciding to make a pitstop at his own house, once the kelpie had been dealt with, and Derek had crashed the moment he was out of the shower and in clean clothes

He hadn't been sure what he would wake up to the next morning but an empty pickle jar, a raided DVD cabinet, and his shoebox of Yu-Gi-Oh cards had _certainly_ not been it

"You freaking nerd lord _oh my god_ ," had been the phrase Stiles decided to deem an appropriate replacement for "good morning"

 

~+~

 

The next time he appeared on Derek's doorstep was the next day, mid-afternoon for once, holding out a deck of cards and a plastic duel disk from- _God_ , 2005 probably- and said in the raspiest voice he could probably manage

_"Duel me Derek,"_

Derek, giving that a moment to sink in, stepped aside to let the insane man into his home

Because ofcourse he did

"And here I always thought I'd be Kaiba in this situation,"

"You've _thought_ about this situation?"

Derek resisted the urge to say that it was just a figure of speech- it _was_ just a figure of speech, in all of the many, many weird daydreams and nightmares and blips in his stream of consciousness that had come up over the years, _this_ was one thing that he could honestly say had _never_ presented it's self to him

But...

Somehow that felt like it would be ruining the moment, so he let Stiles run with it and believe whatever he could gleam from Derek's total lack of response

"I don't have one of those _hideous_ things so we'll have to play cards on the coffee table like normal people,"

"I kinda figured that but I wanted to show it off for once, I bought it when I was a kid but nobody ever played cards with me so it .. sorta went to waste,"

Derek could feel for that, he really could

He couldn't even remember the amount of times he had bought a toy or a game or something else along those lines strictly requiring two people and had no one else interested

Laura had always atleast tried to participate with him when they were both younger but when she hit her teenage years even she became too absorbed in highschool and maturity and learning to be an Alpha- someday in the future- to give any attention to whatever Derek had interest in

And Cora had _never_ shared his taste

He understood

"Not even Scott?" he felt compelled to ask, setting a couple of pillows on opposite sides of the coffee table and grabbing his deck of cards from the table the TV was situated on- exactly where Stiles had set them the night before

"Scott never cared much about that kind of show, and he _sucks_ at games- all games but especially card games, and to be honest neither of us have ever even learned the rules so.... short answer? No,"

"Well you're in good company," Derek promised, sitting down on the pillow facing the couch

"I have no idea how to play and I'm pretty sure the show was just making it up as they went along,"

The first round took _three hours_ , mostly because neither of them could agree on how to actually play

The second round was alot less a game and alot more an argument about who had the cooler cards

The third round consisted of a discussion about homoromantic subtext wile Derek made dinner

Stiles only went home to get his DVDs of the show and came back with that and an _atrocious_ foam Millennium Puzzle that he claimed to have gotten when he was nine

Derek fully believed that, he could practically see the age on the thing, and when Stiles fell asleep half-way into their unspoken marathon he had gently removed it from around the witch's neck to keep him from choking himself in his sleep

 

~+~

 

By the sixth time, Stiles had foregone nocking all together and just decided to use his key

Derek had technically only given that to him for emergencies but he didn't mind, and if this was what Stiles needed, far be it from him to say anything discouraging

Stiles was, after all, a surprisingly nice house guest

He never bothered Derek, he kept to himself if Derek was asleep or busy, he replaced things he disturbed, he even made breakfast some mornings

It was... nice

And honestly, Derek had never slept better

There was just something about hearing Stiles' heartbeat, even a room away, as it drummed steadily in his chest, peacefull and tangible and _there_ , that had Derek sleeping better than he had since before the fire

Maybe it was finally having someone again who he cared about, who he trusted, after Laura, to stay with him, to make sure he wasn't alone, but he wasn't really ready to put any money on that

He had a feeling if it was anyone other than Stiles- even Cora- he wouldn't be nearly so comforted

He tried not to talk about it though, he just hoped that whatever Stiles needed from this, whatever reason he had for coming over almost every night and sleeping on his couch, it would keep going, it would stay

Atleast for a wile longer

 

~+~

 

The couch was ruined

Because all good things in Derek's life were fleeting and temporary, the couch was freaking ruined

He'd like to say that it was an accident, it was no one's fault, it just happened, but that wouldn't actually be true because it was _absolutely_ someone's fault

It was the fault of the freaking harpy who had crash-landed in his house after he and Stiles had been chasing her through the forest

Talons + upholstery = Do Not Mix

Now she was gone and the problem was taken care of but there was no possible way that anyone could sleep on this couch and IKEA was closed at this time of night

Worse, although Derek _had_ guest rooms, he hadn't really furnished them yet, it was on his to-do list, so unless Stiles was going to take the floor....

"I'll get out of your hair then," he decided suddenly, after what felt like hours of the two of them just staring in silence down at the shredded remains of what used to be a pretty nice couch

"You don't have to," Derek said quickly, instinctively, before being able to put any thought into it

"Well not sleeping in a bed is alot better than not sleeping on the floor so...."

"Why don't you just sleep in my bed?"

Derek blamed the sudden lack of sleep that the harpy had caused him, but that was how Stiles had gone from sleeping on his couch, to sleeping in his bed

It had become a trend even more quickly than the first

 

~+~

 

He had thought at first that it would be hard to get used to sharing a bed

That there would be a learning curve, some awkwardness, that neither of them would sleep because it was just too weird

But oddly enough, it hadn't

In fact, Derek had never fallen asleep so easily in his life, and Stiles had passed out even before that

They fit together like two peices of a puzzle, in some odd way, they just... worked with eachother

Neither of them had seemed to think of it awkwardly, neither of them seemed to have any incompatible qualities with eachother, neither of them tossed and turned or stayed awake or had any problems at all...

And, most frightening of all, Derek _definitely_ got used to it quickly, probably moreso than he ever should have

It had only taken once

Just one time of how well rested and at peace he felt having Stiles next to him

Just one time of waking up from a truly good sleep with Stiles in his arms, having curled himself around the other man the night before

Just one time of watching- after he carefully removed himself from physical contact with his freind- as Stiles slowly opened his eyes and allowed his brain to come online and his body to start remembering how to function

One time had been all it took and he was then an addict and that... really didn't bode well for him at all

The day would come, he knew, when Stiles would get over whatever it was that kept bringing him to Derek's in the middle of the night, he would learn to sleep alone or with someone else or ... whatever it was that kept him awake, it would eventually disappear

And when it did, Derek would be left lonely again, with a gaping wound in his heart, back to square one and his inability to sleep with the house so lifeless and quiet and eerie

It was a terrible thing to get attached to, like a pain killer that you're only supposed to take for a short amount of time

And yet, as Stiles crawled into his bed for the second time and flopped down like a tired cat, he understood with frustrating realization that his attachment wasn't going anywhere

In fact, if anything, it would only ever get worse

 

~+~

 

They didn't talk about it

It was just an unspoken rule that they never talked about it

They never really... _talked_ about anything, not beyond pizza toppings and Beacon Hills being it's own private little hellmouth and occasionally hogging the blankets and other trivial things

But they didn't _talk_

Until they did

 

~+~

 

"Sorry I'm late, I got caught up reading... something,"

The very fact that they had a standing appointment now, that Stiles could ever be considered _late_ \- especially at one in the morning- kind of sent Derek for a loop

But he was happy about it, somewhere deep in his core

He was glad to know that he hadn't just imagined the entire thing somehow, that these "dates"- something he wasn't really calling them except when he needed a word for it- were as important and standing with Stiles as they were with him

That Derek hadn't blown it all out of proportion somehow

He was also incredibly happy that Stiles had just been late, that he hadn't- for whatever reason- decided to just.. skip... this night in their arrangement

Derek would understand when that day would eventually come, ofcourse, he just.. wasn't ready yet

He didn't know if he would ever be ready but not being ready wasn't the same thing as not accepting it

"It's fine, what were you reading that was so important?"

What Derek expected: Something to do with a case, something to do with the supernatural, something he had taken from his father's office without permission, something disturbing he had found on the internet, anything and everything to do with murder and dead bodies.... etc...

What Derek didn't expect: Stiles flushing pink, heart picking up in speed, breathing suddenly shallow, the scents of embarrassment and slight panic mixed with just the smallest undercurrent of arousal...

...

_Oh_

Derek had a vague idea of it now but he didn't want to know any details- he'd never sleep again if he did

"It's .. you don't have to tell me, it's fine," he said quickly

Stiles stared up at him in confusion, and he must have belatedly realized why Derek had quickly withdrawn the question because his face had gone from pink to red and the scent of embarrassment spiked to the point of being suffocating

"You know, I hate that you werewolves know everything," he mused off-handedly, heading for Derek's new (ish- it had been there for a couple of weeks now) couch and plopping down

Apparently he wasn't tired, wich was.. understandable

"I mean it's everything- it's _everything_ , you're always tracking me, always monitoring me, I feel like a dolphin with a freaking chip in it's fin,"

"I... wasn't aware I was so over-bearing," Derek frowned, taking a cautious step forward

"You aren't, I just meant... everyone..... it's .. I don't have super senses the way nearly everybody else does, sometimes it just feels weird," he explained, frantic, kind of defensive, and really, Derek understood

"I understand that, when I was younger it was ... sort of the opposite for me, I had to learn how to deal with most people _not_ having super senses,"

That, atleast, seemed to tug a smile from Stiles' lips, but he still looked like something was under his skin

Derek was caught between the gates of asking and not asking, wanting to know what was wrong but not wanting to pry

So he settled for something vaguely in-between, something they had been doing for what felt like ages now, and hoped that things would settle themselves out again

"We should sleep, don't you have to be up early tommorrow to meet a client?"

Stiles' shoulders drooped at that, he relaxed, nodding, but something still seemed off

 

~+~

 

For the first time since this little ... experiment... of their's had started, Stiles didn't fall asleep immediately

And _because_ he wasn't falling asleep, Derek wasn't falling asleep either

It was a turn of the cycle that he really hadn't anticipated, actually

"What's your favorite slushie flavor?"

....

_What?_

"Stiles, it's almost two in the morning,"

"Is that your final answer?"

Derek sighed lowly, loudly, and decided that if he was going to hit him with a question that off-the-wall and rediculous, the least Derek could do is ask _why_

"Is coke allowed, or just .. what I hesitate to call 'fruit' flavors?"

"Coke's allowed,"

"Then coke,"

"Mine's cherry, but I like coke too,"

"Stiles? Why the _hell_ are we having this conversation?"

Stiles shifted in bed so that he was facing Derek, staring at him softly, quietly, not even answering at first, and Derek... wasn't all that sure what to make of it

"I can't sleep,"

"So you're... asking me about slushie flavors... because you can't sleep?"

"I guess,"

Atleast it was an answer, he supposed

"I... started coming here because I couldn't sleep,"

Derek wondered, breifly, if there was a time when Stiles had started coming here for a different reason, but he decided not to voice it

"I didn't really know what I was going to do when I got here but .. I didn't actually think sleeping would be it, I thought.... maybe I'd talk to you about something, or watch TV on your couch, or ... I don't know... play monopoly late into the night, or learn to make a homemade pizza, I.. didn't expect sleeping to actually become a thing..."

"And .. now that you can't sleep, you're at a loss again?"

"Kind of, more.. I guess I'm just experimenting with what I would have said and done if I hadn't been able to sleep that first night either,"

There was a pause, breifly, before Stiles added something else

"Why do you think it stopped working all of a sudden?"

Derek knew why, when he really thought about it, but he wasn't sure if he should say

It wasn't really the sort of thing people talked about out loud, the sort of thing they put into words, but ... by that same token, Stiles had every right to know

"I'm just guessing but... I made you feel uncomfortable,"

Stiles looked almost offended, opening his mouth to speak but shutting it when Derek held his hand up, asking silently for him to give him a chance to explain

"You've been coming here and falling asleep because you were _comfortable_ here, with me, for whatever reason, you felt safe here, I ... disrupted that, intentionally or not, and now that comfortable place is muddled and your brain isn't really sure how to deal with it yet, or adjust to this still being a comfortable place for you when you felt on edge not that long ago,"

Stiles was quiet for a moment, clearly taking that into consideration, before seeming to relax into the thought

"Sounds like you have personal experience with that,"

"In some ways,"

Derek had alot of experience with it actually, the loft had been an experience, New York had been an experience, Beacon Hills in general had been an experience, among others....

He just wasn't sure how or even if he should verbalize any of that

"Does it ever change? Can you go back to the way it was?"

"Sometimes, if the off-putting thing wasn't that bad to begin with and something comes along to make it better,"

"Your off-putting thing really wasn't bad," Stiles said quietly, sounding... almost sad, as if he was upset that Derek knew he had made him uncomfortable

"Then there's hope,"

They fell quiet for another moment, and it wasn't as bad as before but it wasn't as good as it used to be and there was still something unsettling about that

Derek craved having what they had back again

"Why do you have those cards anyway?"

Immediately, Derek knew what he was referring to

How could he _not_ immediately know what he was referring to?

And he understood

Stiles had come to the realization at some point that Derek must have bought them when he was older because his possessions from childhood had all been destroyed in the fire

He was either too polite to ask before or it just hadn't really ... _hit_ him before...

Hard to say wich

"Laura bought them for me in New York... about a year into our stay, she never really said why... I think it was her way of trying to help me reclaim part of my childhood or something..."

Stiles hummed quietly, moving a little bit closer as Derek shifted to lay flat on his back

"It's always kind of funny remembering that Yu-Gi-Oh is a kid's show, you know if you search for it on the internet it's mostly gay fanart now,"

"How would I _possibly_ know that?"

"I'm just saying, it's funny what you don't notice as a kid, call it 'subtext' if you want but _'My heart is beating faster', 'I tremble with desire'_ , and _'I want to be with you forever'_ all sound pretty _textual_ to me, and I definitely, _definitely_ mean the pun version of that too,"

"Well, you aren't wrong," Derek reasoned, grin pulling slightly at his lips

They fell into a silence again, but this time it was far more comfortable than the last

"You know what's weird?"

"Mm?"

"Everything, everything is weird, reality is weird, bodies are weird, people are _definitely_ weird..."

"I really think you need to find it in yourself to go to sleep," Derek mused, his eyes already starting to get heavy

"I'm just saying.... things are always changing and you can't depend on anything, ever, but at the same time there are people and things that you _have_ to depend on because that's society for you, just making you be dependent and ... it's... it's weird, that's all,"

He wasn't positive, and he'd never outright assume it, but he wondered breifly if this was about Scott and the others

They had always been such close freinds and Derek knew that they had at one point had plans to go to college together and live together and just _stay_ together forever

And now he knew that Scott only called Stiles once a week, sometimes less

It had to be hurting him and for whatever reason it struck especially hard tonight

He wondered if that was what _all_ of this was about...

"Everything is finite, nothing ever lasts.... one day, this'll stop lasting too,"

So _that_ was what it was about

"Only if you want it to,"

"Derek-"

" _Only_ ," the werewolf repeated slowly, more firmly, very gently taking Stiles by the arm and nudging him closer, prompting the witch to lay his head on the wolf's chest

"If you want it to..."

"What if I don't?"

"Then it won't,"

It was probably too easy of an answer

It was a difficult, complicated subject that had a billion different outcomes and Derek had tried to boil it all down to three words

He wasn't sure how well it worked, if at all

But he didn't really have the opportunity to question it or himself, Stiles was asleep within seconds, and Derek followed right after

 

~+~

 

When Stiles come over the next day, he started his greeting with a question

"Did you know that sound machines have heartbeats on them?"

"... Um..."

"You know, the little white noise machines that play things like cricket chirping and thunderstorms and stuff? Turns out, a popular option is heartbeats,"

"That's... very interesting,"

"I thought so too,"

That night Stiles slept on his chest again, ear pressed firmly over Derek's ribcage, and Derek had to remind himself that even though he could hear Stiles' heartbeat loud and clear from two rooms away, it didn't hold true that way for Stiles

Stiles needed something _extra_ just in order to hear the same things that Derek could

He made sure not to forget that again

 

~+~

 

Eventually the sleep-overs stopped being just sleep-overs

Their relationship changed like it always did, like all relationships always changed

The irony is that it still started with a sleep over

 

~+~

 

"What do you get out of this?"

They still didn't talk about it

After that initial night when they had changed around their sleeping positions, it just... went back to being something they didn't talk about again

Derek was ok with that, really, probably better off that way, less to worry about, less to screw up, but then Stiles had asked him _that_ and he didn't really know how to respond because every answer he could think of was already wrong in one context or another just by the first three words

So he did the mature thing and answered a question with another question

"Why do you care? What does it matter?"

"Because it does,"

"Very informative,"

"I'm serious, I don't understand it, you're doing me this huge favor and all I do in return is bug you, you keep doing this special thing for me and you aren't getting anything out of it and I just... want to know why,"

"Who said I'm not getting anything out of it?"

Stiles frowned, as if not understanding, and pursing his lips

"Well if you _are_ getting something out of this arrangement then what is it?"

"I have trouble sleeping too you know,"

And then, all of a sudden, Stiles seemed to _get_ it

"I only recently started sleeping well but... I sleep alot better with you here, when... I can hear your heart beating... it's grounding,"

A small, gentle smile came over his lips, looking suddenly at peace as he moved closer and raised off of Derek's chest, leaning down a little more, pressing their noses together

Derek expected to feel awkward, uncomfortable, shy... even maybe embarrassed

But he just felt calm

Completely, irrevocably, calm

Stiles leaned down a little bit closer, and Derek could feel his breath on his lips, so close, yet just barely out of reach

An inch out of reach

"I don't want to ruin this,"

Stiles' voice was so quiet, so soft, that Derek wondered if he would have even heard it if he weren't a werewolf

"You won't," he promised sincerely

That seemed to be the only motivation Stiles needed before leaning down further and finally pressing their lips together

It was slow and soft and tender, it was fragile just like everything else between them had been since this started and it _fit_

It felt... _incredible_

It _was_ incredible, even though it only lasted for a few moments

That was ok

This was not an extended make out session, it wasn't a heated, passionate taste of eachother, those things would come later, he knew

But this was just a goodnight kiss

It was gentle and soft and reassuring just like it was supposed to be

And when it was over, Stiles laid down on his chest again, closed his eyes, and fell asleep to the beating of Derek's heart

Derek lingered only a moment longer, just to drink him in, just to let things settle, before letting Stiles' heartbeat soothe him to sleep as well


End file.
